It's a Crazy World
by Andrek
Summary: What if Naruto was granted a wish and wanted the world to be crazy. Random stuff but has a plot. Naruto/Hinata
1. Chapter 1

**I started getting the idea for this not long ago. I was starting to realize that I could make my characters do anything. That's when my thought started getting weirder and weirder. This is the offspring of my thoughts.**

**Also, whenever I release a new story, don't expect the first chapter to be too long. This is just to see if my readers like my ideas for stories.**

**I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form.**

**"Kyuubi speak"**

**'Kyuubi thought'**

"Character speak"

'Character thought'

Chapter 1 : Whacked Out Wish

"Bored, bored, bored. I am so bored." Sang a young blonde haired child as he walked around the edge of the village. Naruto was taking a walk because he had nothing to do. He had become a genin almost a week ago and tomorrow he was getting placed on a team. Until that week was up though, he couldn't really do anything but visit Ichiraku's and even he couldn't do that 24/7 for an entire week. "I swear, if I get paired up with Sasuke on a genin team tomorrow, I will die!"

It was quickly becoming dark out and so Naruto started to walk back into the village. As he was walking however, it started raining. He was too deep into his thoughts before to notice. Soon the rain picked up so much that visibility was very poor. Naruto took off running hoping that he was running towards the village. What he didn't know was that he was running into the woods, away from the village.

Soon Naruto saw a building when he almost ran into it. He decided to take shelter here until it stopped raining. He knocked on the door but no one answered. Finally he decided that there was nobody here and he opened the door and went in.

He turned around and shut the door. He started to search for a light switch because it was barely visible in the house. He didn't find a switch but he did find a candle on a nearby table. Luckily for him there where some matches on the table. The first thing he noticed after he light the candle was that the entire place was covered in an enormous amount of dust.

'I don't think anyone lives here anymore. Or they really don't care about how they live.' He thought as he started to look around the house for a towel to dry himself off with. Finding none in the first couple of rooms he checked, he tried the next door. When he opened the door he saw a flight of stairs leading down.

Being naturally curious, he made his way down the stairs. Most of the stairs creaked as he stepped on them. Obviously this house was very old.

'I hope the house doesn't collapse on me while I'm in it. That would be really shitty.' At the bottom of the stairs he could just barely make out the room by candlelight. What he could see was a couple of boxes in the corners and a trunk sitting alone in the middle of the room.

Deciding to save the trunk for last he made his way over to the boxes. All he found in them were clothes and other junk. He made his way over to the trunk in the middle of the room and stood in front of it for a minute.

'This room feels weird. I swear, if a ghost comes out of this trunk I will freak the hell out. And if I make it out alive I am going to laugh in Kiba's face about how ghosts do exist.' He thought as he gently reached out and touched the trunk.

He put the candle on the floor and took hold of the lid with both hands. He slowly and cautiously lifted the lid. When the trunk was completely open all he saw was a what looked like a small, flat looking teapot at the bottom of the trunk.

He took it out and looked it over. He thought he could see some writing on the side but it was too obscured by dust. He started to wipe the pot on his sleeve when purple smoke started to pour from it.

All he could do was stare in abject horror as a figure emerged from the end of the smoke. It had no legs, all he could see was the smoke that was attached to its lower body. It has a muscular torso and a red sash around what he believed was its waist. It also had a large head and black hair tied back into a ponytail. Did I mention that it was FREAKIN blue.

"Holy shit, it's a ghost." Naruto started to run around in circles, shouting about the apocalypse and how he didn't want to be eaten.

"Calm down kid. I am the genie of the lamp. For freeing me you get one wish. We used to grant three but people found a way around the no wishing for more wishes rule by wishing for more genies instead. Assholes." The genie said.

Naruto started to calm down and moments later a smile came to his face as he realized that he would be granted a wish. "So I can wish for anything?" He asked.

"Well, you cant wish for more wishes, love, hate, or death. Other than that, knock yourself out. No really, knock yourself out. The longer you don't make a wish the longer I get to stay out of that cramped lamp." The genie drawled out.

Naruto started to think of all the things he could wish for. He could wish for money, but then again nobody sells him anything. He could wish to be the greatest ninja ever, but it wouldn't be because of his skill. And Sasuke would probably bitch about it. "Aw man. There is nothing to wish for. This is so boring…..Duh."

"Alright, I'm ready to make my wish. I wish that life wasn't boring anymore. I want excitement and action. I want the world to go crazy." He said without thinking about the consequences.

The genie got a wicked smile on his face. 'He wants the world to go crazy huh? I'll give him crazy'

"Your wish is my command" The genie snapped his fingers and had a smug look an his face. "Enjoy." And with that the genie dissolved into smoke and was sucked back into the lamp. Once the smoke was gone the lamp started to shake violently and then without warning it disappeared.

Naruto didn't feel any different. He started to walk around and looked all over the house but nothing had changed. He decided that the genie was a bastard and that he would just go to bed. He found the least dusty place on the floor upstairs and used hid jacket as a pillow.

X

X

Naruto woke up the next morning with the sun shining on his face from one of the windows. He sat up groggily and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. As he looked blearily out the window he came to a sudden conclusion.

"Shit, I have to get back to Konoha. If I don't hurry I wont get to eat at Ichirakus before I have to go to the academy. And I have to eat at Ichirakus." He hastily got up, dusted himself off, put on his jacket, and busted out the door. He closed the door behind him and started to listen.

He could faintly hear the sounds of the village in one direction so he took off. He made it back to the village in a couple of minutes and took off straight towards Ichirakus. As he was running through the streets however two men cut him off. They both wore long, green trench coats and had bowl cut hairdos. One was obviously an adult and the other looked not much older than him.

"Look Lee, this person has not seen our youth. Let us show him."

"Yes, Guy Sensei. He must see our youth."

And with that they quickly yanked open their trench coats in the middle of the street to reveal they wore nothing underneath. As Naruto's pained cries echoed throughout the village it was accompanied by twin cries of "YOUTH!!!"

**And so the craziness begins.**


	2. Monkey Man

**Get it through your heads. I don't own Naruto.**

**"Kyuubi speak"**

**'Kyuubi thought'**

"Character speak"

'Character thought'

Chapter 2 : Monkey Man

"HOLY SHIT. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!" Yelled Naruto as he covered his eyes. He would probably be haunted forever by what he saw. All he wanted to do now was to get as far away from these freaks as he could.

"Yosh! Come Lee, we must show our youth around town. Everyone must see our youth."

"Of course Guy-sensei."

"Lee"

"Guy-sensei"

"Lee"

"Guy-sensei"

What happened next could only be described by censor bars and buckets of barf as they embraced. The sight was only made worse by a genjutsu that seemingly came out of nowhere of a big sun with a happy face. It was all so horribly wrong.

Without thinking or looking back, Naruto ran. He ran without guidance. He ran without wishing for anything more than mind soap.

When Naruto finally stopped and opened his eyes he looked around and found himself right outside the Hokage's tower. He decided to go tell the old man about the treachery that was happening on his streets.

As he entered the building he tried to rid himself of the image he saw back there by furiously rubbing his eyes. He continued to do this until they were red and sore. By this time he had arrived at the Hokage's office. He quickly opened the door without knocking and saw a man meeting with the Hokage.

"I will bring this matter up again later Hokage-sama." The man turned to leave and Naruto saw that he wore white robes and had completely yellow eyes.

"I will give you my answer then Hiashi-san." The Hokage said.

With that the strange-eyed man left. The Hokage turned his attention upon Naruto.

"Now, what can I do for you Naruto?"

"I came to tell you about some strange people in green trench coats waving their wieners around town." Naruto frantically explained hoping the Hokage could make them stop.

"Again, if I've told them once I've told them a thousand times. No one wants to see their danglies." Sarutobi stood up and turned to look out the window. All Naruto was focused on however was the big monkey tail protruding from the back of the Hokage's robe.

"Uuuummmm, oji-san, there is something on your butt. When did you gat a tail." Naruto asked in a hesitant voice.

"Oh, that old thing, all saiyan's have them. Now go to your class to be placed on your team. I will take care of the gays…I mean guys waving their sausages around the village."

"Okay, see you oji-san. I will take that hat from you someday." Naruto said as he left the Hokage's office.

'I better not forget to get my tail pulled by tomorrow night. It's a full moon. Shit would really happen if I forgot' Sarutobi thought as he pulled out and orange book from a secret compartment in his desk. He soon forgot all about his previous thoughts as he started reading.

Akatsuki Base

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head. And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed. Nothin' seems to fit-" **(Song: ****Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head****) **Pein stopped singing as he opened the door to the main area in the Akatsuki base.

Strobe lights decorated the ceilings. A big disco ball was hanging in the center of the room and shone brightly in the lights. Pein could hear music pumping very loudly in the background while he watched Tobi.

"Tobi, Tobi is a good boy! Toby is a good boy!" Tobi was rapping while Deidra was break dancing on the floor. Pein quickly shut the door and left. He decided to make sure no one else was up to anything weird. He walked down the hallways when Zetsu bumped into him.

(Please don't think I am racist I am not)

"Watch were you're going." Zetsu's white half said. However as Pein started to glare at him he quickly said "Never mind, sorry."

Pein continued walking down the hallway and faintly heard Zetsu's black side from the other end of the hallway as he was walking away. "He gets in my way again and I'm gonna cap his ass. Make him my bitch!"

Pein decided to just keep walking as he came upon Kisame's room and heard Kisame singing within. "Ooooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Sponge Bob Square Pants." Pein opened the door and saw Kisame sitting in front of his T.V. watching some cartoon about a sponge. When the sponge came on screen Kisame started to clap and cheer while hugging a stuffed sponge close.

However Kisame's happy time soon came to an end when a kitten crawled out from under his bed. Kisame got a look of horror upon his face and gave a very high-pitched scream. Kisame jumped onto his bed and started screaming about devil cats and how Itachi was a bastard. Pein watched as Kisame started making hand signs frantically. Pein closed the door and continued walking. "Suiton : Ultimate Tidal Wave. Suiton : Great Water Sharks." He was almost out of earshot when. "Meow." "."

**AN : Sorry this one is so short but I just want to get this one out.**


	3. New Recruits

**This whole chapter will be on what is happening with the Akatsuki.**

**Get it through your heads. I don't own Naruto.**

**"Kyuubi speak"**

**'Kyuubi thought'**

"Character speak"

'Character thought'

Chapter 3 : New Recruits

Pein walked back into the base after getting some air and walked over to Konan's room. He knocked on the door and said. "Gather everyone together in the main area for a meeting in five minutes."

"Fine." He heard through the door.

Pein waked to the main room and waited. Five minutes later everyone was in the room.

"I have some news. Due to the random shit that has been happening around here I am beginning to question weather some of you idiots can do your jobs. Just to be sure I have acquired some new recruits. They will be joining Itachi and Kisame in trying to capture the Kyuubi container. They will be working solo so try to not get in each others way."

With that a person walked into the room. He wore a full black bodysuit and had a black tie. He also wore a big black helmet and you could hear raspy breathing coming from it. He was also about as tall as a twelve year old.

"Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze." He suddenly pulled up a latch on the helmet and lifted the front part. "Man. It's hard to breath in this thing. Know that I will be the one to capture the Kyuubi. None can stand against the power of the Schwartz. Behold"

The little man pointed his hand at Itachi's crotch and a ring on his finger emitted a glowing green beam. It hit Itachi and got no reaction.

"WHAT! You should be in total pain now. Can you not feel your crotch aching?" He asked.

"Itachi doesn't feel pain." Kisame said as he laughed at the little guy's useless power. "or love, hate, anger, sadness. Well…unless something happens to his pocky. Then he tends to kill the problem. Violently."

"Well shit! No matter. No one but Itachi can stand against the power of the Schwartz."

"Thank you very much for the introduction Dark Helmet." Pein said as he motioned for the next person to come inside.

The next person to walk in was very odd.

"He's a baby. Come on you can't be serious." "Can we eat him? Baby is the other other white meat." Said Zetsu.

Then a big projectile came zooming at Zetsu. He dived out of the way and looked on in horror as a big hole was blown in the back of the cave.

"Holy shit. What was that?" Zetsu finished.

"How dare you. Do you know who I am? I am Stewart Gilligan Gryphon, future lord and master of the world." The baby identified as Stewie said.

"You have just bought yourself a place on my shit list. And no, that isn't a funny pun on killing you on a hit list from a baby. You will be cleaning up my crap when I need a diaper change. Prepare for hell." Stewie yelled very fast at Zetsu.

"The baby is hilarious." Deidra said while he was laughing.

Stewie pulled out a strange device and pointed it at Deidra. "Go fetch me some milk. Then cut it before you serve it to me." Stewie said as the device lit up.

Deidra who was staring at the device got a strange look on his face and then said, "Yes master." Deidra walked out of the room and headed for the kitchen.

"Okay that could have turned out better. But it was funny so…whatever." Pein said. "Stewie, go take your place over by Dark Helmet."

"Yeah, whatever man. Crampin' my style." Stewie said as he walked over to Dark Helmet.

The next person that walked in wasn't really human in any way. He stood at maybe a couple of inches and was completely green.

"So glad you could join us Mr. Plankton." Pein continued. "Mr. Plankton is a dastardly fiend who is a mechanical genius." He explained to the watching members of Akatsuki.

"Yes, and by joining Akatsuki I will in some not really explained well way acquire the Krabby Patty formula." Plankton began to yell near the end of his speech.

"Yes, well. Please go join the other new recruits Mr. Plankton." Pein waited until Plankton had moved. "And now for the last new members of Akatsuki please put your hands together for…TEAM ROCKET" Pein's voice said in an announcer like fashion.

"Prepare for flubble." "And make it a quarter pounder." "To protect the world from infestation." "To ignite the wood in our own nation." "To announce to the world that we are gay." "To have silly fun everyday." "Jessie" "James" "Team Rocket flying off in pain from electric death." "Surrender now or don't." "Meowth. That's correct."

The members of Akatsuki could only watch as two people and a talking cat sang off key. The song wasn't very good either. "3 out of 10" Itachi said.

"You gave them a 3. I think they only get a 2." Said Kisame

"Yes but the talking cat at least adds another point." Itachi argued back.

"I guess you d have a point but they were still off key."

"Quite." Itachi said with a British accent.

"Dammit James. The song still doesn't work. Try thinking up a better song next time." The redhead said.

Pein, peeved at being ignored, cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "These two are Jessie and James and the Nibi wannabe is named Meowth."

"WANNABE. I will have you know I am the best cat like thing ever…aside from Mew and Mewtwo." Meowth whispered. "I bet this Nibi can't even talk. Where is it I'll show you all that I'm the best."

"The Nibi is a demonically super powered, flaming, 500 foot tall cat." Pein responded.

"Holy shit. Fine I am almost the best feline related thing ever." Meowth begrudgingly said.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way you all are dismissed. Rooms are down that hallway. You will find your name on your door written in pink marker. Have a good night for tomorrow we take over the world Pinky." Pein began to sound a little psychotic near the end but realized everyone was staring at him and rushed out of the room.

Everyone began to go down the hallway and went into their rooms.

**With Dark Helmet**

The little man was sitting at his vanity staring into the mirror and laughing what he believed to be in a maniacal fashion.

"Those fools. Those stupid, stupid fools. I am merely using them to acquire the Bijuu so that I may train them. Then I will start a circus and charge five whole dollars to go see it. It's cost efficient and evil at the same time."

With that last thought Dark Helmet changed into his all black PJs and put on his nighttime helmet. He lifted the front part of the helmet, brushed his teeth and went to bed, but not before putting the helmet plate back down.

All that could be heard through the walls was. "Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze." OF course Itachi, his neighbor, felt nothing and went to bed himself.

Kisame however, on the other side of Helmet's room was contemplating killing the dumbass midget.

**With Stewie**

Stewie opened the door to his room using the knob that was only a foot from the floor.

When he entered the first thing he saw was Rupert sitting on a chair.

"Rupert. I thought I told you to keep that blasted woman busy while I snuck out for a couple of years. Can't you do anything? This was one of the easier assignments I've given you. You failed to even assassinate Lois last time. I clearly set you up for that one but you just sat there."

"Oh well, I am glad to see you. I'm surrounded by buffoons here Rupert, I am glad I have someone like me to talk to."

Stewie kept a tight hold of Rupert while he climbed into the crib in the room. He shut his eyes, curled up into a ball, and started to suck his thumb.

He fell asleep mumbling about how fun it will be to watch the Kyuubi munching on Lois's dead corpse."

**With Plankton**

"Your time will come Krabs. It's only a matter of time before I rule Akatsuki. And then, instead of having my loyal ninjas beat the recipe out of you I will have them run the Chum Bucket while I continue to try to steal the recipe."

Plankton pulled out the tiny record player he stashes somewhere and put the disk he thought was his evil theme on it.

Unfortunately it was the wrong record. "Jigglypuff Juggilyyyypuff Jiggilypuff Jiggily."

**With Team Rocket**

"Has anyone seen my Jigglypuff lullaby record?" Asked James. "I can't get to sleep without it."

"Quit your whining. Don't forget our main objective." Jessie said.

"I know. To capture the Bijuu and send them to the boss." James replied.

"Of course. We'll figure out how to cram them into pokeballs later. For now we need to think of the big details that matter. Like how to get this filthy cave dust out of my hair."

"Would you two cut it out." The cat, Meowth said. "Lets just get some sleep. I need to thing of how to show up that inferior Nibi.

"But we were assigned the Kyuubi." James whined.

"I know but if we come across that cat then I will deal with it."

Pein lay in bed starring up at the ceiling thinking about the Akatsuki welcome party that was taking place tomorrow. "I hope Konan booked that bounce house."

**This whole chapter was about the Akatsuki. I hope you all like my new Akatsuki recruits. I have some fun things planned for them.**

**Sorry it took so long to update but I have started going to college full time now so I don't have as much time anymore. I will try to get the next chapter of Na-Ru-To out next.**


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